The Things We Do
by littlesnowbells
Summary: A collection of drabbles featuring Klaus, Caroline and some others. #3 - "Can you take this seriously, please?"/"Sweetheart, there's nothing serious on filling an online dating profile for a hundred year old vampire."
1. Jealousy (Klefaroline)

**A/N: **this is the place I'll use to post my drabbles from Tumblr. So far I've only written humorous Klefaroline stuff, but hopefully I can write more varieties later. :)

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Klaus has been acting weird lately. Since Stefan got here, to be more accurate, he's been grumpier than usual–if that scowl on his face wasn't already permanent than she's pretty sure it is now–and he's been spending way too much time locked inside his studio with only bottles of scotch for company.

And depressive classic music on the background.

She has a pretty good idea as to why he's been acting like this; she does admit that she's been neglecting him for the past week in order to catch up with her BFF–

–which okay, she might have had the illusion that she was in love with him at some point, but Klaus doesn't know that… right?

Oh, well, he has nothing to worry about and she thought he knew that, so she let it slide, thinking it'd go away soon.

Needless to say, she was wrong. It didn't go away, it actually got worse.

Every time she got home from a day out with Stefan, Klaus left his studio, glared at them–if looks could kill she and friend would be dead, buried and eaten by worms at this point–and left for his studio again, closing the door rather roughly behind him. At night he'd slide in their bed without a word and sleep with his back turned to her. No "Goodnight, love," no kiss, no _sex_. Caroline was getting frustrated with his petty jealousy, so much that she had considered tying him up to a chair and beating him up until he realized how much of an idiot he actually is.

But she decided that maybe that wasn't the best approach after all.

And that is how she ended up in their bed on only red lace lingerie and black heels. She would bang his brains out until he got inside that thick skull of his that he was the one she wanted to be with…

Or so she planned.

"What do you mean you're going out for drinks with Stefan?" She asked him incredulously.

Klaus was standing by their dresser looking for his wallet.

"Stefan invited me to go out and have some drinks and I said yes."

Stefan invited him for drinks? That made no sense. Like no sense _at all_. Why would Stefan invite him for drinks? And most importantly, why would Klaus choose _that_ over having sex with her?

She kept staring at him with the same incredulous look still on her face. "I'm half naked on our bed and you are going out to have drinks with Stefan?"

Unfreakingbelivable.

He turned to look at her with apologetic eyes. "Sorry, love, but this is kind of important. You'll have to wait."

Wait? Oh, no, mister, nah-huh. She would not wait for him to come back from his "kind of important" _date_.

She arched an eyebrow at him and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I won't wait, Klaus. It's now or never."

He kept staring at her for a couple of minutes, seemingly unsure of what to do. She scoffed at his indecision, fuming now. "Let me make this easier for you," said slowly, the anger and frustration very much present in her tone. "Go out, have fun with your _boyfriend_. But don't expect to touch me for a very long time."

Asshole.

Klaus sighed and ran his hand down his face. "Caroline–"

"Go!" She shouted, pointing at the door.

He raised and dropped his arms in frustration before leaving the room, muttering something that sounded incredibly like "women" and "this conversation isn't over."

Caroline sunk in bed with her arms crossed and a huge pout on her face.

So much for her plans…

She couldn't believe that Klaus had blew her off to go out to have drinks with some _guy_—okay, not just some guy, _Stefan_—but still, it sucks! He never passed on an opportunity to have sex with her, especially if she's throwing herself at him. She bought this lingerie just for tonight!

She was made a fool of and he'd be damned if he thought she would let it slide.

Oh, she wouldn't. No freaking way.

How dare they abandon her?

There would be pay back, for _both_ of them. First she would start with her _beloved_ _boyfriend_, he will sleep in the couch tonight, followed by an absence of sex for an undecided amount of time and the ice treatment, because he—just like her— _hates_ to be ignored, so there's no better punishment than the ice treatment.

As for her _dear best friend_, she would take him on a shopping trip tomorrow for the complete package: clothes, shoes, purses and underwear and she'd be her most annoying, bossy and shallow self. All of that while using Klaus's credit card and making Stefan carry her bags. Later, she'd take him dancing.

An evil smile was playing on her lips.

Oh, yeah, they'd learn that _no one_ makes Caroline Forbes a fool.

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**AN 2: **if you have any requests, please feel free to send them to me either here or Tumblr (takethatasachallenge).


	2. That Pesky Phone (Klefaroline)

**Prompt: Caroline and Stefan shopping while Klaus is texting her non-stop about pervy things.**

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Stefan Salvatore was bored, so bored. He couldn't believe he had let Caroline drag him into this, to a shopping trip.

He hated shopping.

And he especially hated shopping with women—they became monsters when they were surrounded by clothes, shoes and bags. It was even worst when they actually had money to buy anything they wanted. And Caroline did, oh how she did.

It's been two hours since they entered the mall and she had already bought half of two stores and was on her way to buy half of another one.

Worst part is: _he _was the one who had to carry all those bags, because she was, quote too busy to carry on her own and he was supposed to be, quote a gentleman.

He let out a sigh when she stopped in front a store window and, seemingly liking what she saw inside, dragged him into the store with her.

He was watching her scroll through a clothes rack when they heard her phone ringing inside her purse. Caroline paused and reached to retrieve it, typing a quick message to however have interrupted her fun.

She returned to her scrolling and not a minute later her phone was ringing again. She rolled her eyes and grabbed the device.

This time she gasped when reading the message's content before typing another answer and quickly getting rid of pesky phone.

"What was that?" he asked her curiously.

She looked at him embarrassedly—

—Caroline Forbes embarrassed?

"Just Klaus," she answered simply, not giving him anymore details and averting her eyes.

Huh, suspicious.

Maybe Klaus is being his usual paranoid self and annoying Caroline with assumptions about their relationship. He wouldn't be surprised if that was the case, Klaus was Klaus and as much as he had grown by being with Caroline, he wouldn't let go of one thousand years of insecurities and personality traits.

He could only laugh at his former friend's suspicion though. The idea of him and Caroline being more than friends was ridiculous, she was like a little sister to him. Plus he would never be stupid enough to try to steal the Big Bad Hybrid's girlfriend. He still had a sense of self preservation.

By now his friend had already moved to another rack. She was scrolling distractedly now, not paying much attention to the clothes when her phone ringed for the third time in less than five minutes.

He saw the red creep up her cheeks while she read the text that she seemingly decided to ignore.

Clearing her throat she said without looking him in the eye, "It's time for shoes," and started walking away, hitting a clothes rack on the way out.

He wondered what was on those texts that had made Caroline so flustered.

As they walked towards the shoe store her phone didn't stop ringing and she clutched her purse's strap every time it did to fight the temptation to look at messages, growing more and more anxious every time.

It would be an amusing sight for anyone, but not to Stefan Salvatore whose eyebrows were so furrowed that they seemed to have merged into one.

Things did not get better once they finally reached the store. Caroline's phone wouldn't stop ringing and Caroline herself was so antsy that she kept dropping shoes, confusing sizes and stuttering her orders to the attendant.

No need to say that Stefan was worried.

When she tripped on the pile of shoes that has formed on the floor and fell with her ass back on the chair, he said enough.

He would get answers for her weird behavior right now.

Turning to her he asked, "Caroline, what the hell is going on?"

She did not look at him when she answered nervously, "w-what do you mean?"

"I mean that you've been acting weird since you got that message from Klaus."

"I'm not acting weird!" she said with a too loud voice and a creepy smile that couldn't fool anyone.

Stefan was not amused by her antics.

"Yes, you are," he said seriously, "You're all flustered and clumsy and you keep tripping on your own words."

"It's nothing, I promise," she said with a calmer tone, putting a hand on his arm to reassure him that everything was okay.

And he believed her… until the phone ringed again with yet another message and Caroline became redder than a tomato after reading it.

"W-we… um… we should go… um… maybe eat something…" she stuttered, getting up from the chair and grabbing her purse, the shoes that she did not buy and that were clearly too big for her still on her feet.

But he had had enough. If she wouldn't tell him what those messages were about and why they were making her so uncomfortable, he would figure out for himself.

Reaching out he pulled her back to the chair and grabbed her purse, quickly finding her phone. He could hear her gasp and her pleas not to read the messages, saying something about how he "doesn't want to read that," but he paid her no mind.

He found her inbox: 20 new messages from Klaus, and began reading.

"From Klaus: Love, I can't wait for you to get home so we can—," he stopped mid-sentence, his eyes widening as he read Klaus's next words, shooting his friend an incredulous look.

She raised her eyebrows at him, "I hate to say I warned you, but I did."

His eyes went back to the phone and he continued to scroll through the messages, each one dirtier than the last.

When he finally had enough, he gave the phone back to his friends, unable to look her in the eyes.

"He… um… has some very… um… _bold_ ideas of how flexible you can be."

"Well, I _was_ a cheerleader," she said matter-of-factly.

Stefan grimaced and started walking away without sparing her a glance.

"Wait, where are you going? Stefan!" she called.

"I'm going to drink until the image of how _flexible_ you can be with Klaus is out of my brain."

This might take the entire liquor supply of the city.

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**AN: **follow me on Tumblr (**takethatasachallenge**), my askbox is always open for requests. :)


	3. Okay, Cupids (Klefaroline)

**Promp: Klaus and Caroline sign Stefan into an online dating site.**

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"Age?"

"Should we be honest?"

"Forever seventeen."

"Now, love, I don't think that's very attractive."

Caroline stopped typing to cut him a glare. "Excuse me?"

The smirk immediately disappeared from him face. "Except for you, forever seventeen is very attractive on you," he said with a charming smile.

Throwing him another annoyed glance, Caroline went back to the questionnaire. "Marital Status?"

"Forever pining after doe-eyed doppelgangers that likes to bang my brother," Klaus answers amusedly.

Groaning Caroline turns to him. "Can you take this seriously, please?"

"Sweetheart, there's nothing serious on filling an online dating profile for a hundred year old vampire," he answered matter-of-factly, which only made Caroline more annoyed.

"Klaus, the sooner we get Stefan a date, the sooner we'll have some time to ourselves""

"We're having time to ourselves right now!"

"_Because_, I guilt tripped Stefan into getting me more blood bags."

"You sent the Ripper to the hospital?" He asked her with a mix of incredulity and amusement.

"I was desperate!" Caroline defends.

And she really was. Stefan had been "visiting" them for over three months and, at first, she and Klaus—although he'd never admit—were ecstatic, they both loved Stefan and missed him and couldn't wait to have some company that wasn't a part of Klaus's annoying family—

—because, good God, those people are a pain in the ass!

So yes, at first Stefan's visit had been fun, they caught up, they went out, and he even went shopping with her a couple of times. But then, things started escalating, what was supposed to be a four weeks visit became two month and the two months soon became three and her lovely best friend became a needy burden.

He was _always_ there, either after her or Klaus or both, wherever they went. The only thing missing was for him to climb in bed with them and ask to sleep in the middle and she didn't doubt that he might come to that point if they don't find something for him to distract himself with, s_oon_,because she misses spending time with _her_ hybrid _alone_.

Taking a deep breath, she turned to the man sitting in bed beside her. "Look, Stefan has been really lonely lately, he's so sad and he's my best friend. I really want to help him, so please, help me help him," she gives him her best puppy eyes that always get her what she wants.

Sighing Klaus motions for her to continue.

"Sexual orientation? Straight."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yeah, why?" She turns to him with a questioning look.

"Nothing," he answers innocently with a shrug.

Caroline's brows furrowed. "Do you know something I don't?"

"I know many things you don't," he teased.

She narrowed her eyes at him, but when he didn't offer an explanation and kept smiling at her, she let it go. She had more important things to worry about now than Klaus cryptic words. He was full of them after all.

"Let's just finish this."

Thirty minutes, fifty three snarky comments, eighty one eye rolls and uncountable scoffs later they were done with Stefan's online dating profile.

"Broody Stefan, 17 in soul; currently living in New Orleans, sharing a house with my super cool BFF and her anti-social boyfriend; I'm rich, funny—," she ignores the snort, "—and confident. I don't have a job because I don't need one; on a typical Friday night I am: out with my bestie; the most private thing I am willing to admit: I like to write down my memories on journals; you should message me if you are: interested in romance," she finishes with a satisfied clap. "It's done, we did well! Actually _I_ did well, _you_ didn't help at all."

"I'm sorry if I don't agree with your methods. I much rather compel some random girl in the street," he said taking a sip from his bourbon glass—when the hell did he get that?

Shaking her head slightly Caroline glares at him, "We've talked about this, no compelling anyone to date anyone, got it?" she said pointing her finger at him.

Klaus rolls his eyes in her direction, she knows he got it; they've had this conversation plenty of times before.

"So what now?" he asks.

"Now, we find someone to date Stefan."

"And how do we do that?"

"We check out girls' profiles and see if they'd be a good match. When we find one we like, we message her," she explains with a smile.

He frowns, "How exactly do you know so much about online dating?"

"I watch TV. Now, let's get to work."

With a last defeated sigh, Klaus turns back to look at the laptop screen with his girl. This is going to be a long night…

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**A/N: ****This is the last drabble I had posted on Tumblr, so I should start working on new stuff now. I've got some prompts and ideas, but I don't know when I'll actually work on them, so be patient with me. And, if you have a prompt, feel free to send it to me either here or Tumblr (takethatasachallenge).**

**See you soon! :)**


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